Long time no talk

Well I'm just gonna just type off the fly here it's been awhile.. a lot has been going on a lot of new med's and breakdowns. I do my best on a daily baisis to stay sane but that doens't always work.. i'm doped up all the time on ativan because that's what my doctor wants for my anxiety.. I like it but I hate it... What i hate more is not having her in my life.. as much pain as we have cause eachother... as many of her recent choice's that she/s made cut me to piece's I still want her... even if it is in pain... I feel I want her pain... even if i'm just a false fantasy world my dear alice... I'm still a world in which is your's...  Love the Black Mage..