Well I'm to the point the med's have been doubled to settle into me.. I feel alright i guess.. thought's have subsided a bit, not as constant.. still a bit down.. thought's of her don't plague me the way they did but they do still hurt.. I gave up trying to quit.. I'm baiscally addicted to pot.. i need it.. want it.. make's me feel better. makes life easier to function.. for the moment.. I've been single for 4 fucking year's.. havn't been with anyone since her.. such a long time ago...
I can't meet anyone.. I'm afraid.. I wnnt someone.. but I fear.. I'm just me I'm boring.. plain.. I'm just a pet...
that's how it feel's anyway's.. I hold my own.. but still.. just a pet.. need attention.. alot i'm starved for it.. in more way than one..
I'm going to keep pushing keep striving.. keep my head above the water.. just have to make it a little more.. hopefully it get's better..
The BlackMage.
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