Constant thought's..

Will I ever forget her? Has she forgotton about me? How much more pain shall I endure to find someone who doesn't only want me for the now? Will I be able to resist so many urge's much longer? When will I be at peace? If I was to die would I truly be missed? would I fade like everything else, lost and forgot?
 Has she realized who this is?

So many question's.. So many thought's... So overwhelming..

I've forgiven her.. for the pain I've been put through.. For wanting to be with someone else.. For taking my love.. For killing him completely off.. But I don't know if I could ever forgive you for leaving me behind completely.. To feel as if my friendship meant nothing to you.. To feel like I was treated by everyone else and abandoned..  For not at least giving me a chance.. but I never will have another chance.. don't want me.. I don't even fucking want me, why should anyone else.. Just a Psycological fuck up.. A beast that need's to be kept chained....

I hope this start's helping me... just keep typing what I need to.. what I think.. I never know how these are gonna turn out until I start..

How I wish I had my chance in life.. Just to prove I am something.. Something to someone.. To be somebody..

“There is magic in sincere forgiveness; in the forgiveness you give, but more so in the forgiveness you receive.”

―Temple of the Winds: Chapter 41, page 318 By Terry Goodkind

Your's Truly, 

The BlackMage